5 De-Escalation Lies We Tell Ourselves

We have all said it.

• “They are just being defiant.”

• “They need to learn there are consequences.”

• “They know better.”

• “I cannot let them win.”

• “I just need a better behavior system.”

But escalation is rarely about winning. It is about regulation. In this honest and practical session, Hope King and Andre Deshotel unpack five common misconceptions about student behavior and de escalation that quietly intensify classrooms instead of calming them. You will learn:

• What is happening in the brain during escalation

• The difference between defiance and dysregulation

• Why adult tone, posture, and proximity matter more than we realize

• What to say and what not to say in heightened moments

• How strong Tier 1 instruction reduces escalation before it starts

De escalation is not about control. It is about clarity, safety, and leadership. Walk away with practical tools you can implement immediately to protect both instruction and relationships.

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