Choosing Joy with Tanner Smith from Love On The Spectrum - The Flip Side Podcast S3E48

Aug 11

In Season 3 of "The Flip Side" podcast, listeners are treated to a heartfelt and insightful episode featuring Tanner, a participant from "Love on the Spectrum," and his younger sister Midge, a dedicated teacher. Through a lively "This or That" game and candid conversation, the episode delves into Tanner’s interests, experiences, and the lessons he’s learned navigating life with autism. This blog post unpacks the main themes and actionable takeaways from the episode, offering valuable guidance for listeners, educators, families, and anyone interested in fostering inclusion and understanding.

Embracing Individuality Through Playful Conversation

The episode opens with a "This or That" game, a simple yet powerful tool for revealing personality and building rapport. Tanner’s choices—pepperoni pizza, dogs, drawing animals, and classic Disney cartoons—offer a window into his world and highlight the importance of honoring individual preferences.

Actionable Advice:

Use Playful Prompts: Games like "This or That" can break the ice and help neurodiverse individuals express themselves in low-pressure settings.
Celebrate Specific Interests: When someone shares a favorite movie, animal, or activity, engage with their enthusiasm. This validates their identity and builds connection.
Encourage Storytelling: Tanner’s stories about zoo visits, favorite movies, and memorable mishaps (like the Disney World incident) foster laughter and shared memories.

Expert Insight:
Playful, structured conversation is especially effective for individuals on the autism spectrum, as it provides clear choices and opportunities for self-expression without overwhelming open-endedness.

The Power of Kindness and Non-Judgment

A recurring theme is Tanner’s commitment to kindness, regardless of differences in belief or background. He reflects on faith, noting that being nice isn’t about religious affiliation but about showing love and respect to all.

Key Points:

Kindness Transcends Belief: Tanner emphasizes loving and praying for others, regardless of their faith or background.
Avoiding Judgment: He reminds listeners that it’s not our place to judge others’ beliefs or choices.
Spreading Joy: Tanner’s “contagious smile” and positive energy are highlighted as ways to uplift those around us.

Actionable Advice:

Model Non-Judgmental Attitudes: In conversations, focus on shared humanity rather than differences.
Practice Inclusive Language: Avoid assumptions about others’ backgrounds or beliefs.
Acknowledge and Celebrate Positivity: Recognize and reinforce positive traits, like Tanner’s smile, that bring joy to groups.

Building Social Skills: Listening and Engagement

Tanner openly discusses his journey in becoming a better listener—a skill he’s worked on with support from Midge and others. He’s learned to ask about friends’ interests and respond thoughtfully, rather than steering conversations back to his own topics.

Key Strategies:

Active Listening: Tanner practices acknowledging what others say before responding.
Staying Engaged: He finds it helpful to know the direction of a conversation, which reduces anxiety and increases participation.
Balancing Sharing and Listening: While Tanner loves sharing photos and stories, he’s learned the value of making space for others’ experiences.

Actionable Advice:

Teach and Model Turn-Taking: Use visual cues or prompts to help neurodiverse individuals know when it’s their turn to speak or listen.
Encourage Reflection: After conversations, discuss what was learned about others’ interests.
Provide Conversation Starters: Prepare questions or topics in advance to help guide interactions.

Expert Insight:
Social skills are not innate for everyone; they can be taught and practiced. Celebrate progress and provide gentle feedback to support growth.

Supporting Neurodiverse Learners: Patience and Purpose

As a teacher, Midge highlights the importance of patience and individualized support for students with autism. Tanner credits his teachers’ calm, patient approach for helping him gain confidence and succeed.

Best Practices:

Be Patient and Calm: Allow extra time for processing and responding.
Provide Purposeful Activities: Engage students with meaningful, relevant tasks that build real-world skills.
Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize progress, no matter how incremental.

Actionable Advice for Educators:

Use Clear, Step-by-Step Instructions: Break down tasks into manageable parts.
Incorporate Interests: Leverage students’ passions (like animals or movies) to make learning engaging.
Foster Peer Understanding: Create opportunities for students to share their experiences and teach classmates about neurodiversity.

Expert Insight:
Patience and individualized attention are critical for building trust and unlocking potential in neurodiverse learners.

Fostering Independence: The Clemson Life Experience

Tanner’s participation in the Clemson Life program is a testament to the power of specialized education in fostering independence. The program teaches essential life skills—banking, cooking, employment readiness—preparing students for adulthood.

Key Elements:

Practical Curriculum: Focus on skills like managing money, using technology, and preparing meals.
Supportive Community: Students build friendships and learn from one another in a safe environment.
Gradual Independence: Tanner’s journey from living with a roommate to having his own apartment illustrates the value of incremental steps.

Actionable Advice:

Seek Out Life Skills Programs: Families and educators should explore local or university-based programs that support independent living.
Encourage Self-Advocacy: Help individuals identify their needs and communicate them effectively.
Celebrate Milestones: Moving into an apartment, mastering a recipe, or landing a job are all achievements worth celebrating.

Celebrating Growth: Belief, Encouragement, and Humor

Tanner’s story is filled with moments where others believed in him—coaches, friends, and family. These moments of encouragement fueled his growth, from running cross-country to reading to younger students. Humor also plays a central role, with Tanner’s jokes bringing levity and connection.

Key Takeaways:

Believe in Potential: Even when others doubt, encouragement can inspire achievement.
Use Humor to Connect: Jokes and laughter break down barriers and build community.
Share Success Stories: Highlighting achievements, big or small, motivates continued growth.

Actionable Advice:

Be a Cheerleader: Offer specific praise and support for efforts and accomplishments.
Create Opportunities for Leadership: Let neurodiverse individuals teach, present, or lead activities.
Incorporate Fun: Use humor and play to make learning and socializing enjoyable.

Actionable Takeaways for Listeners

Engage with Empathy: Approach every interaction with patience, curiosity, and kindness.
Support Social Skill Development: Use structured games and conversation starters to build confidence.
Champion Inclusion: Advocate for programs and practices that foster independence and belonging.
Celebrate Uniqueness: Recognize and honor the individual strengths and interests of neurodiverse people.
Model and Teach Non-Judgment: Create environments where differences are respected and valued.

Final Thoughts

This episode of Get Your Teach On’s "The Flip Side" is more than a fun conversation—it’s a masterclass in empathy, inclusion, and the transformative power of belief. Tanner’s journey, supported by his sister Midge and a caring community, offers a blueprint for how we can all be better friends, educators, and allies to those who learn and experience the world differently.

By embracing individuality, practicing patience, and spreading kindness, we can create spaces where everyone—regardless of ability—can thrive, grow, and share their unique gifts with the world.